The Double-Almost-RTW: Bangkok

I disembarked at good old Don Muang, inhaled the distinctive smell (which is neither good nor bad, just Don Muang, and quite different from Bangkok’s overall funk) and reveled in my first Rot saap, thiu bin thii T-R-neung-neung-hok thammasaa Sin-ka-poh pai Krung Thep laew announcement in almost a year. How many more times will I pass through before Suvarnabhumi finally takes over?

I’d always thought transferring at BKK to be painless — but I’d never actually needed to use the transfer desk before. I trudged across the terminal only to find that the Asiana desk wasn’t open yet, and the sign saying that Thai is Asiana’s handling agent did not mean that Thai would actually condescend to handle their pax. I squatted on the floor next to a power outlet for half an hour, watching as World Cup coverage was interrupted to show King Bhumibol celebrating his 60th year on the throne by welcoming an endless stream of dignitaries ranging from the Sultan of Brunei to the Prince of Liechtenstein, and then tried again, only to find three poor Burmese migrant workers flailing in a thicket of red tape and poorly photostatted documents with huge official approval seals. I’d already learned the hard way to never, ever end up behind anybody holding a Union of Myanmar passport in an immigration queue, but here there was no escape. Tappity-tappity-tap, and another half-hour later all three were dispatched… to sit on the sides and wait some more.

Now it was my turn. My ticket was accepted without question, but then the grilling started. Where did you come from? Where is your visa for Singapore? What do you do there? Where is your return ticket? What is your address in LAX? A few ”mai mii” (not have) and ”mai dai” (not can) punctuated phone calls later I was granted my boarding card to ICN and told that I’d need to check in again tomorrow for LAX.

I was given an “Asiana Lounge” coupon and, hearing for the first time about the existence of such a beast at an airport I thought I knew well, I embarked on a quest to find it. The map on the back of the coupon promised that the ASIANA LOUNGE should be between piers 2 and 3, next to the information booth and CIP First Class Lounge, but it entirely failed to manifest there — until I saw the cut-out of an Asiana girl in her military gray uniform behind the CIP Business Class Lounge desk, smiling in a pose that said “I’m hiding a bayonet-tipped assault rifle behind my back and will march off to Pyongyang tomorrow if the captain so orders”. With foreboding, I entered a dank cellar of crusty brown leather sofas and tortured souls sighing in corners as they counted minutes until their flight, and after raiding the triangle sandwiches (your choice of dry ham, buttery cheese or dodgy food poisoning) contemplated whether my penance had been sufficient. I could tighten my cilice and flagellate myself a little more by staying… or I could go for a massage at the TG lounge instead. Lead me not to temptation; I can find it myself. (It’s right next to gate 32, and yes, it is a Star Alliance lounge although any signs saying so have been hidden.)

TR 116 SIN-BKK Y free seating A320-200


I was about to fly halfway across the world and back in business class on my own dime, but first, it was time to repent for my sin and pay penance. After suffering through that oh-so-annoying hourlong wait between finishing all my pre-trip preparations and the point when it actually makes sense to leave for the airport, I counted to ten, bolted the door and lugged myself and my rollboard through the tropical afternoon down to the nearest subway (MRT) station. I can get to the airport by taxi in under 20 minutes, but doing it this way involves a transfer at City Hall, another at Tanah Merah and a third onto a bus from Changi T2 to the Budget Terminal. (The upside is that it costs $1.50 instead of $15.) The rush hour was just starting and there were no seats to be had on the train, but I didn’t particularly mind — there was plenty of sitting around ahead.

Almost precisely an hour later the third and final train pulled into T2’s MRT station. Newly added signage showed the way toward the Budget Terminal shuttle buses, through a bewildering warren of underground passageways leading past, among other things, a frosted-glass door signed “SIA Cabin Crew Control Centre”. Alas, any reveries of obedience training for SQ girls gone wild, involving spanking pert behinds wrapped in kebayas, soon evaporated when I emerged into the harsh flourescent light of the underground T2 bus terminal. One of the bus bays had a few signs with random colorful swirls, a sign stating that shuttle buses run every 10 minutes, and a bent length of steel pipe to balance your butt on (a task I’d imagine even well-controlled SQ stewardesses would find a challenge). After I’d inhaled my recommended daily allowance of exhaust, the bus eventually rolled up and I boarded, the only passenger aside from an Indian uncle toting a cup of teh tarik on a plastic strap.

The bus pulled up to a squat building painted creamy yellow and violet (I think Changi could use an Interior Design Control Centre) and I savored my first visit to the Budget Terminal, only opened in April 2006. Check-in queues were slim and my thumbprint-equipped Access Card eased me through immigration. Inside, the terminal bore a remarkable resemblance to a suburban Toys’R’Us: it’s a giant warehouse with an aluminum roof, lots of brightly colored gewgaws for sale and gobs of signboards from the Angry Fruit Salad school of design. But the duty-free shop had the prerequisite bottle of Singapore Sling premix, Genki Sushi sold me a bowl of noodles for $3.80 and there was seating to spare.

The Budgeteers had one clever if evil trick up their sleeve: to prevent kiasu Singaporeans from camping out, gates were not announced in advance. Instead, 30 minutes before departure the flight monitor just silently switched to “Boarding” and the gate number appeared, precipitating a good-natured stampede towards it. But a Tiger guy with spiky blond hair was standing guard and proceeded to divide all entrants into two queues: one for families, one for the rest. The system worked smoothly and half an hour later we were ready to go.

I don’t particularly like Tiger as far as Singapore’s LCCs go, but I seem to end up flying them quite a bit anyway — they fly to all sorts of interesting places and regularly offer the cheapest fares. The major problem for me is the seat pitch, which is bad by any standard, and I can’t really imagine sitting on one of these birds for over three hours. Today the load was 60%-ish, so I had a free seat next to me, and as the plane accelerated towards takeoff and the little pigtailed girl in the seat in front of me squealed with excitement I smiled and thought to myself: “BAM — on the road again!”

The Double-Almost-RTW, Part 1: SIN-BKK-ICN-LAX and back on OZ C/TR Y

Prologue

Last year I spent a month going around the world, covering a safari in Africa, an iceberg cruise in Svalbard, live octopus in Busan and (the scariest of all) poutine in Ottawa. I’d been planning to top it this year with a two-month RTW that would take in various obscure Pacific islands, but due to time and finance constraints this seems imprudent at the moment… so I decided to fly almost all the way around the world and back instead. Twice.

SIN-BKK-ICN-LAX-ICN-BKK-SIN-FRA-LHR-LTN-LJU-CDG-BRU-STN-HEL-STN-LHR-YOW-YUL-YQB-LHR-SIN

Total 42562 miles, at a cost of approximately 25% of what I paid for my 28984-mile CRWSTAR1 last year. 

To be covered in this thread is the first half:

  • SIN-BKK on Tiger Airways (TR)
  • BKK-ICN on Asiana (OZ)
  • ICN-LAX on Asiana (OZ)
  • and back, with a 5-day loop through South Korea (Seoul-Cheonan-Suanbo-Danyang-Guinsa-Seoul) on the way

And the trip starts tomorrow!